Written by Nick Ers
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Sunday, 19 September 2010

image for "Time Travel possible" says Hawking,"but only to a time that was really shite"

World renowned astrophysicist Professor Steven Hawking shocked the scientific community yesterday by announcing "It IS possible to travel back in time" However, temporal travel was restricted to dates considered "really shite"

He said " Due to flux in trans-temporal energies, you could only go to places like the 1970s during a three-day-week, or one week after the death of the dinosaurs who, incidentally all moved their bowels when they died. " He added "you would think that we could go back to momentous events and witness them first hand, but 99. 999% of time is full of no electricity, bad plumbing and a vague smell of cabbage. "

Asked as to where would he go back to, given the choice Prof. Hawking merely stated "Let's just say I've already been" before his wheelchair lifted off the ground, tucked it's wheels under itself and flew away. . .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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