Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for Prince Charles Promotes Biofuel Trains
The new lignin cellulose external combustion engined 'steam' train.

Prince Charles is touring the country in a train that runs on biofuel in an attempt to educate the country for a green future.

The train runs on carbon neutral ligneous cellulose grown on wasteland, producing as much carbon dioxide as was taken up in growing the product.

"It is an ingenious system," said Prince Charles. "I am informed that there is a fleet of these engines in storage ready to roll out should the uptake be forthcoming. They do not even require any modifications to make them function using the new biofuel."

The new engine works by combusting the ligneous cellulose in an external combustion engine, which heats up water, driving the pistons that make the wheels rotate.

This 'steam' is vented from an exhaust at the front of the train engine, whilst the ligneous cellulose is carried in a small truck directly behind the engine, making the whole unit self contained.

The remains of the ligneous cellulose, or to use it's layman's name: 'wood', is an excellent fertiliser addition, which can be mixed directly with ordinary soil to improve it's phosphor and nitrogen content. This can then be used to help grow the next generation of biofuel, or 'trees', as they are colloquially known.

The company behind the new biofuel train, Cockermouth Steam Trains Enthusiasts, believe they can roll out the stock necessary to replace the entire rail fleet with just a few months notice.

"Having ridden on one of these trains," said Charles, "I can definitely say that they are the future!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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