Written by Guy Bellefonte

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Topics: Poo, Toilet, Mathematics

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for Algorithm Predicts Bowel Movements

Coming soon to an app store near you...the excretion application. Math students at an unknown small university have successfully tested their latest achievement.

Curious customers simply enter in exactly what they eat and when they ate it, punch in a few other numbers and BANG! This handy app tells you exactly when you will have a bowel movement.

For busy professionals, bowel movements have always been an unwelcome interruption, which was the initial inspiration for this device.

"Now I just use this app and it automatically synchs up with my Outlook Calendar so I know exactly when I need to reserve time at the john.

For an additional 50 cents, customers can purchase an additional app which sends a 15 minute reminder to your phone, which is an English woman that says, "pardon the interruption, but it's time to drop a deuce."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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