A new book written by renowned scientist Stephen Hawking and co-authored by a theoretical physicist by the name of Leonard Mlodinow entitled "The Grand Design," finally puts to rest the silly notion that God exists. The book, instead, rules out the possibility of divine intervention in the creation of the universe and indeed, mankind.
This not only turns the Christian world on its ear, but also throws a real wrench in Glenn Beck's plans to develop a media website entitled "Blaze." When Beck heard this news, he had only this to say, "Ok, this certainly is not good news for me and my newfound religion 'Mormonistianity.' Just when I was earning my props as a pseudo-serious religious leader, along comes this well-known pop-physicist and blows the whole God theory right out of the water."
Beck claims that although he's had years to develop his Mormonistianity theories, he's not quite sure what to make of the theories in this new book and claims he may need some time to weave it into the belief handbook he is developing as we speak.
Meanwhile, Hawking believes he has finally explained the reason behind the age-old question, i.e. "How could a loving and just God allow such atrocities as murder, disease and war to befall the human race?" Hawking simply states "Because there is no God, duhhhhh."