Psychologist Heinrich von Stroodle of Vienna, Austria has just published his latest research findings in the World Health Organization Journal of Modern Medicine (WHOJMM) that suggest that multiple orgasms by as many humans as humanly possible in their lifetimes will not only save mankind but bring it to a higher level of communication with the universe.
According to von Stroodle's report, "the inhibition of sexual arousal in oneself in order to conform to the puritanical ideals of an overly religious society has brought the world to the brink of ruin. Loosening the bonds of sexual self-restraint is the only way to save mankind."
Von Stroodle is a follower of psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Wilhelm Reich. It is Reich's belief in Freud's concept of libido and taking it one step further in a belief that a by-product of the release of libidinal flow known as Orgone could have an amazing affect on everything from micro-organisms to entire galaxies that piqued von Stroodle's interest in this as yet untapped force of nature.
Through years and years of vital personal experimentation with thousands of sexual partners as well as with himself, von Stroodle was finally able to come up with enough evidence that suggests that multiple orgasms by people all over the world can eventually produce enough energy or Orgone to overcome the earth's negative reactions to puritanical thought manifested through earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, biological plagues and other disasters and actually form a utopian world scenario.
Immediately upon the release of his uhmmmm findings, however, von Stroodle was arrested for indecent exposure and his research uhmmmm lab was destroyed. Unless someone picks up where he left off, we may never know if his theory does, in fact, have merit.