Written by Dogooder Dave
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Topics: Disney, Cartoon

Thursday, 28 April 2005

In the spirit of holistic medicine and the true traditions of cartoon capers, well known, dream come true holiday resort, Disneyland, have opened their new fully equipped hospital with expert medics from stage and screen on hand to save lives at the splat of a frying pan.

"We have spent many years working towards this dream of ours" said respected, Consultant Oral Surgeon, Goofy. "We had noticed that families around the world have gone cap in hand begging for the ridiculous amounts required to enable us to meet a dying childs' final wish and just thought we saw an opening here to make another buck or two."

The new venture will mean that instead of travel agents, airline companies and Disney coffers having to wait till children are nearly dead to get their cut, parents of poorly kiddies can be encouraged to raise money for potentially futile medical treatment. "We believe in vain hope and glory and money" said Nurse Minnie while Mortuary Officer, Snowwhite nodded in agreement through the glass of her fully fitted velvet lined coffin.

"All treatment will be provided on site and in full hearing of cymbal clashing parades whose participants will tip toe past ward windows as our staff fiddle about with bits that something is wrong with but in an amusing chortling chuckle comedic cartographic sort of way ." continued Nurse Minnie.

A fully gowned Chief Medical Officer, Dr. M Mouse, squeaked "I have always been told I had surgeons' hands and my six fingers and two thumbs just itched to be part of some bonkers brain surgery - trouble was I kept thinking I was near some cheese and made a right mess of things. My old friend Donald Duck helpfully pointed out that open heart surgery would give me more scope for mucking about so I opted for that."

It is hoped that the new facility will be fully functional in time for this years peak holiday season and stage crew from the famed Disney film sets are busy creating an authentic two dimensional look to the place. Chief designer Mr Magoo explained "We fully accept that some may see our venture as pretty Mickey Mouse but to add a degree of credibilty to our efforts all wards will be decorated with images of medical instruments and terrifyingly complicated gadgets strategically placed just to create the illusion that we have a clue as to what we are doing. We consider that such imagery will put parents of dying children at ease and as for the children themselves well, if someone has paid for the treatment then we will welcome them."

It is hoped that once the hospital is up and running with money flowing in that a water filled extension will be added, replete with smiling dolphins to provide life saving therapy on matters beyond the scope of Mickey and his gang of pals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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