Written by C. Cranium
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Thursday, 29 July 2010

image for Steven Hawking Enrolled in Beginning Calculus Class
Hawking still having fun.

Oxford, University. Take Calculus I again, it can't be true say fans and acquaintances, "Hawking could not have failed Calculus I, he was my tutor".

Hawking has admitted the blunder and now wants to take the class over and erase the failure. Sixteen years old, brilliant mind, and little understanding of the inexplicable ways of the human created world Hawking floated from math vision to math vision seeing no value in home work or grades. He questioned why he was asked to do such trivial, infinitely obvious, exercises that were akin to being taught the alphabet after receiving an advanced degree in Literature.

The fact that Steven Hawking wants to redo something from his youth shows that he has gained respect for the unfathomable human condition. The world as defined by limited individuals has some similarity to chaos theory that produces snowflakes. One piece missing and the snowflake would be flawed. Hawking may have surmised that his failure in Calculus I contributed to a flawed snowflake and therefore by completing something from so long ago may bring greater insight now.

Ha, ha. Anyway the nonsense above is the official story. This reporter however has discovered that Hawking bet his contemporaries that he had solved an incredibly difficult problem - all by calculating in his head. If Hawking lost the wager he would take Calculus I again. Hawking did make a mistake, even in that remarkable brain, that resulted in a variable being a fourth or fifth decimal place off. He was wrong and lost the bet.

Hawking plans to attend at least one of the classes, take the tests, but is resolute about no homework.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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