Written by C. Cranium
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Topics: Space

Thursday, 29 July 2010

image for Giant Trebuchet Launches Man Into Orbit
Picture of Int'l Space Stations from Greenbean Capsule.

The green movement has gone space age in their heretofore unknown space travel aspirations. Sunday July 25 at 5:02 AM, in a clear-cut area in the forests near Coeur d'Elene, Idaho a group of space travel enthusiasts sent Joel Johansen, 37, into Earth orbit in a refurbished Mercury Capsule, that was acquired from NASA in a Craigslist ad. Johansen is in orbit and reporting from a semi-geosynchronous orbit that passes over the northern US every few hours. Splashdown is scheduled for August 6 in Lake Coeur d'Elene with a celebration following immediately on the lakeshore.

Pictures can be seen of Johansen's life in space at the Greenbeanzed.net website that also features the green space private space exploration efforts. The Greenbean space group avoided toxic rocket fuels by using concrete instead-forty-three tons- that powered the counter weight for the giant trebuchet. The launching arm was a four hundred and twenty foot bridge support beam reinforced with titanium cross beams acquired from the Alaskan bridge-to-nowhere project. The sling connection was made of ocean container cable, and the launch pouch was a circus tent. Booster rockets were the only fuel equipped part of the Mercury capsule, that also had waste disposal and kitchen not on the original model.

The launch force was such that Johansen and capsule were propelled at twenty thousand miles per hour at an angle for leaving the gravitational pull of earth. An additional five thousand miles per hour was achieved by several booster rocket blasts similar to multistage launches. Johansen was in orbit just as fast as a Jupiter Rocket launch with only four percent of the fuel use.

The government and NASA paid little attention to the Greenbean space project and considered the group crackpots. They were certain the project would fail and predicted that the capsule would crash into a barn in eastern Washington. Now however authorities have issued a citation against the group and are subpoenaing the engineering designs for the bridge beam re-enforcement. Governmental hackles were raised even further when the Greenbean stopped by the International Space Station to deliver a home made blueberry pie cooked in the Mercury capsule.

Space enthusiasts are waiting for the August 6 arrival of the Greenbean and gathering in and around Lake Couer d'Alene.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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