Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers
Not Paul

The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's National Lottery draw.

Paul, the flubbery, rubbery, greeny-pink thing, correctly predicted the results of all of Germany's games, that Spain would be the eventual winners, and that Holland's Arjen Robben would dive a record number of times.

He has amazed everyone with his stunningly accurate guesswork, and will now attempt to do the thing for which every lottery enthusiast would give his right tentacle - scoop the jackpot with all six numbers!

Speaking through an interpreter earlier this afternoon, Paul predicted that the six winning numbers, using draw machine Neptune, and set of balls number 8, would be:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6

Paul also said that if he, himself, won the jackpot, he'd buy several hundred thousand buckets of crabs and scallops, and would donate the remainder of the cash to the Royal National Lifeboat Institute/Royal National Lottery Institute (both RNLI).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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