Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 10 July 2010

image for Apple Developing Drone Phones for Use While Driving
Hang on, let me switch over to my hot dog.

Already iPhone 4 owners are being pulled over by the thousands and ticketed for using their new multi-tasking phones while driving, an illegal act in most states. Iphone 4 owners are complaining to Apple that they are finding it necessary to buy two, sometimes three replacement iphone 4's due to having them confiscated by police officers. They are crying out to Apple to do something about it.

Well, Apple is listening. Researchers at Apple have come up with a drone phone, which basically uses the same technological concept as Boeing to develop their drone planes--reconstructed F-16 fighter jets built to fly unmanned missions and avert enemy fire during war.

Baron Geoffrey von Richtenschteiger, lead researcher on Apple's Drone Phone project, wouldn't give us too many details due to the fact that every time they come up with a new phone, Samsung and Nokia, among others, are right on their heels offering cheaper versions of the same technology. "It's almost like World War II all over again," said Richtenschteiger, "only this time it's phones instead of planes, kinda sorta."

What we could gather from the spy photographs we were able to take with our own iPhone 4's while averting the Baron's attention during the interview is that the Drone Phone will work like this. It will look like an ordinary hot dog, the kind you can buy at any 7-Eleven Store. The wrapper of the phone contains an antenna and a power source. You can drive down the road appearing to "eat" your hot dog when in reality, you are chatting away with your friends. Statistics show that police are less likely to pull over a hungry driver than one who is texting his friends while maneuvering his vehicle in heavy traffic.

While it doesn't appear Apple has found a way to allow the driver to take videos or text message from their Drone Phones at present, just the fact that drivers will not have to go cold turkey swearing off the use of their iPhone 4's while driving is a step in the right direction. Perhaps a two-way Drone Phone system may work, turning an ordinary Slurpee cup into a touch keypad/camera/television monitor/Slurpee drink.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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