Written by Mark Lowton
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Topics: Mobile Phones

Thursday, 3 July 2003

image for Moto-Pez<span class=sup>®</span> - Mobile Phone Future
The Moto-Pez Logo

The vision of the future for mobile phone handsets has been revealed by Motorola today.

Several years of intense research has been carried out by Motorola on this new technology, and are confident it will give them the edge over rivals Nokia and Sony Ericsson in the mobile market.

The new Motorola handsets will all become equipped with a Pez® Candy dispensers to allow high-flying executives to re-live their youth through their mobile phones.

The handsets are a standard fold-over style, that when opened can dispense a delicious fruity candy like any ordinary Pez® dispenser. However, because the phones are intended for use by sensible adults, the user can select to fire the candy at high velocity, allowing them to reach speeds of up to 96mph over a maximum distance of 20 metres.

The phone is also expected to sell well to teenagers who are thought to be interested in the ability to fire the sweets at high-speeds. "It's like them candy necklaces," said one teenager, "you know, them things with little sweets threaded onto elastic. They're great to shoot at people, you break 'em in half with your teeth, eat one half, then fire the other at someone's head with the elastic. It'll be well cool, I can answer the phone on the bus and whack a first year in the eye with a Pez® at the same time."

Pez in flight

Motorola are still performing tests on the product, predicted to be released in Spring 2004. Motorola are also alleged to be in talks with Pfizer, the company behind Viagra, to manufacture mobile phones for marketing to older generations.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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