Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: New York, bedbugs

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for Bedbugs Leave NYC Beds, First Look at WHY
NYC bedbugs are doing the town!

According to "Dinner and a movie: Experts say bedbugs favor feasting on moviegoers in cushy theater seats," an article posted yesterday at NYDailyNews, NYC bedbugs are on the move. And movie theaters aren't their only "targets." According to the article, exterminators have been hired during the past year to deal with bedbug infestations in a number of other places -- Broadway theaters, judges chambers, health clubs, and stores.

To get some firsthand data about this trend, Spoof reporter Gail Farrelly went last night to a movie theater in NYC and interviewed a few bedbugs after the show.

Apparently, they feel an urgent need to enlarge their universe. "There are only a limited number of things you can do in bed," one bedbug explained, continuing, "there's a whole new world of shopping, dining, entertainment, and socializing waiting out there, why not jump right into it."

Movie houses are favorite places, they explained, especially because they love popcorn. "Also," one of the bugs pointed out, "moviegoers are so engrossed in the film, they don't seem to notice our taking a bite or two out of them."

Regarding their appearances in judges chambers, the bugs said that they have a great interest in legal issues. "Then there are those nice comfy judicial robes, a perfect place for a snooze," one of the bugs said. Another added, "And sometimes judges can be so uppity, it's nice to take them down a peg or two by infesting their chambers and chomping away at their judicial flesh whenever we like."

After a few minutes of being interviewed, the bugs begged off, saying they were going to a Broadway show and wanted to be sure they were there before the curtain went up. "We like aisle seats," one said, adding, "and they'll be plenty of other bugs there to compete with us for the best locations."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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