(Seattle) Students at the University of Washington have discovered a novel approach to combating cockroaches that can be found in many kitchens.
Members of the freshman AP class combined diet soda and corn chips to produce a substance lethal to the pests.
They explained that heating diet cola to summer temperatures converts the artificial sweeteners into methanol, formaldehyde, formic acid, and other toxic chemicals.
Combined with genetically modified corn products produces a poison knocking roaches dead in their tracks.
Rats fed the snack foods daily became weak and eventually died.
Soda and corn growers associations assure The Spoof that their products are safe for human consumption at recommended serving sizes.
Northwest activist Ashley White is not so confidant and points to old studies showing these products deleterious to people's health.
"Someone from the Army's Chemical Warfare has already shown up to the school," she said.
"They want to turn our food into a weapon."
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