Written by The Medium Cheese
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

image for Apple's iBalls Set To Replace IVF
The real picture is too rude to print

Apple has announced its next must-have personal accessory, the iBalls.

Marketed mainly at men, the iBalls will let users determine the gender, looks and intelligence of their children.

Combining a mobile version of The Sims game, and genetic information downloaded from the governments' hacked DNA database, an application will let users design their ideal babies. Designs are "saved" to the owner's testicles via a neurofiber link, altering the owner's seminal emissions for up to 24 hours. If conception occurs in that time, Apple guarantees that the infant will exactly match the iBalls design.

Trials of the prototype create an unexpected result when geeky engineer Sid Rubicube saved a picture of Homer Simpson on his test machine. He then forgot about his day's work and had a night in with his wife. The couple split up shortly after iHomer was born.

Developers hope to follow iBalls with a unisex device aimed at males and females, codenamed iGonads, that will guarantee conception of a baby design downloaded from Apple's own database.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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