Written by Amethyst Ryder
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Thursday, 24 June 2010

image for Breakthrough discovery: Dinosaurs, prehistoric mammals shared common language
When dinosaurs ROARED upon the Earth: Amazing linguistic discovery.

Millions of years ago, dinosaurs roared upon the Earth. That is the startling discovery of Reina McSpamster, 18 months, of Outer Suburbia, Minnesota.

This author accompanied McSpamster on a recent expedition to the Science Museum of Minnesota, where the precocious paleontologist demonstrated the linguistic links between various forms of prehistoric life.

"Rrraaahr," said McSpamster, pointing to a skeleton of a Triceratops.

"Rrraaahr," said McSpamster, pointing to a skeleton of a Saber Toothed Tiger.

"Rrraaahr," said McSpamster, pointing to a skeleton of a Woolly Mammoth.

Diplodocus, Stegosaurus, and Pteranodon, along with several species of prehistoric fish, likewise all said, "Rrraaahr," according to McSpamster.

What makes this discovery all the more amazing, according to Science Museum volunteers, is that these different life forms did not all exist within the same era.

"Maybe they just passed it along, one species to the next, Cenozoic to Mesozoic to Paleozoic," mused a volunteer who provided crayons with which McSpamster colored a cutout of a butterfly. "Pretty amazing, especially when you consider it's still part of twenty-first century animal communication."

"Rrraaahr," affirmed McSpamster, holding up her paper butterfly.

"Unbelievable," said a woman who identified herself as the museum's Paleontologist in Residence. "Until now, we've always thought language, and proto-language, was a relatively late development, evolutionarily speaking. And yet, to think, not only mammoths, not only dinosaurs, but going all the way back to Trilobites, for crying out loud! All connected by a common communicative thread."

When asked for further comment, McSpamster said, "Rrraaahr," and proceeded to put pieces of a wooden dinosaur puzzle into her mouth.

Plans to enroll McSpamster in the advanced preschool track for paleontology and other Earth sciences are pending.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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