Written by KendoMonkey
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Friday, 4 July 2003

image for "Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly
It's disgusting!

In a new survey published by the government, results have shown that the elderly tend to get upset by "fruity" or "bad" language. One elderly chap we found, agreed: "It's disgusting, all these young lads with their caps on backwards saying 'fruit this' and 'fallow that'. Except they say bad words instead of 'fruit' and 'fallow'. It's terrible!"

We tried to quieten the old man, but he continued: "In my day people respected their elders and called them 'old chap' and 'mister'. But now I get called things like 'dude' and 'grandad'. It's just not right!"

The most startling statistics

  • 88% of all pensioners believe that there should be fines for people who swear, to be enforced in the same manner as littering.
  • 95% of the pensioners asked, said that things weren't like it was in the olden days.
  • 50% of pensioners knew what bling was.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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