Written by Stephen Prime
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Monday, 7 June 2010

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The latest big white release from apple is the iWank, the most sought after gadget ever released by the company in the last five minutes.

The iWank is specially designed not to do anything that a much cheaper laptop couldn't do, but the iWank doesn't do it better.

Spokesman for the iWank, Monet Grabba, said that people who didn't already have the iWank would be compelled to buy it by special pheromones sprayed out over cities by blimps which have a huge image of the iWank trailing behind them. Also billboards are being equipped with special chemical dispensers, although Mr. Grabba said that most people were so smitten with the idea that they would probably want one anyway.

'The pheromones are a precaution against anyone who thinks the iWank is just a ploy to get more money off people who have already bought the iToss which is a smaller, cheaper and more convenient model which does the same thing almost' Said Mr. Grabba.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs wasn't even aware that his multi-billion dollar company was releasing the product until his nephews called him up asking for a free one.

The iWank went on sale last week and has already sold out, possibly due to the competitive pricing of £579.98 per unit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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