Written by rfreed
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Friday, 21 May 2010

image for Dolphins Prove To Be Smartest Creatures On Planet - Maybe They Are Studying Us.
"When we take over this babe is mine!"

New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien.

The Kiwi brainiacs had found that dolphins have an extra set of bones near their midsection that might have at one time been legs for moving about on land. In other words, the amphibious creatures once left the seas to roam the earth, then returned to the ocean. For some reason, after hanging out for a couple millenniums basking in the sun, they said "Enough of this!", decided they did not like their new environment and up and marched back to the bosom of the sea.

This shows their superior intelligence- the dolphins returned to a protected environment full with the abundant necessitates of life. Meanwhile our monkey fore-bearers insisted on staying on dry land and we humans now suffer on the surface of this world dealing with extremes of heat and cold, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, winds, winter, and any number of other threats to life and health. The dolphins luxuriate in a near perfect environment where the temperature changes little, they are able to move with ease, there is an abundance of food, they are protected from the upper environment of sky and land by the buffer of the sea, and there are few predators threatening them. It is little wonder they often stick their heads out of the water and chuckle- they are laughing at us!

Douglas Adams, the great British humorist, depicted in his Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books that dolphins are one of the two most intelligent beasts on the planet (the white mice I am not so sure about). What is scary in the book is that when they leave the planet knowing it will be destroyed they tell us "So long and thanks for all the fish". We could very well be standing there twiddling our thumbs and wondering what is going on when it happens.

(Proofreaders comment) Another question that should be asked is this- what happens if they grow their legs back and decide to come out of the water for another go at things? If they are so smart they might start taking over things. They would be like aquatic yuppies, thinking they are so smart and all and start bossing us around. Heaven forbid should they get hold of our guns or start messing around with our women. They seem all nice and friendly and smiley, but then so do used car salesmen. I say we should let the tuna fisherman start catching them in their nets again. Enough of this 'Save The Dolphin' stuff. That should keep them off our streets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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