Written by MilesRDBatty
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Topics: wedding, Energy

Sunday, 20 February 2005

image for Wedding Gift causes Galactic Disturbance
Galactic War or Wedding Present?

A stellar occurence first observed on December 27 may have been the result of an innocent gift, but with devastating ramifications. A magnetar, or supremely condensed star, exploded halfway across the galaxy, sending ripples of electromagnetic energy throughout the cosmos.

Bryan Gaensler, of the Harvard/Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, noted that such occurences are a once-in-a-lifetime event, and that we are lucky so such magnetars exist within 50 light-years of earth. "The cause of these anomolies, though, remains a mystery", Gaensler said.

However, Maura McLaughlin, an Astrophysicist for the University of Manchester, UK, disagrees. "Astronomers and researchers are still disseminating the data, but there was a wealth of information carried along on that blast.

"Part of the information was electromagnetic waves in a regulated frequency, a sort of carrier wave for stellar communication, not unlike our own radio or cell-phone transmissions.

"Scientists have been dissecting the communications, and what we've learned so far has been staggering," McLaughlin said.
Quoting from secured sources in the scientific community, McLaughlin confirmed that, "The collapse of star '#SGR 1806-20' is not a mystery at all. It was the result of a centuries long interstellar civil war, and the detonation of the star was their 'Hiroshima'.

According to sources, SGR 1806-20 was the home star of an advanced race known as the Qinatha, who had named their home star 'Hyskatna'.

Sources revealed that a loop, or rift, in the space-time fabric had caused a message from Earth to travel back in time to their civilization orbiting SGR 1806-20. According to sources, a newlywed couple in Rockville, Maryland, had purchased star naming rights to SGR 1806-20, via a website called 'Starregistry.com". Robert Hatcher, the groom, had registered the name "Betty's Twinkle" in honor of his new bride, Elizabeth Barnes-Hatcher.

The data confirming the renaming of the star had somehow found a way to reach the Qinatha civilization, eons in our past.
Sources confirmed that factions in the Qinatha scientific community were divided, whether they should change their star's name to Betty's Twinkle, in honor of the 'message from space', or keep it as Hyskatna.

The dispute apparently sparked a massive civil war in the Qinathan peoples, which raged for centuries, resulting in the decimation of the entitre race and the destruction of the star itself. It is not known what 'Betty's Twinkle' would translate to in their native tongue.

Maura McLaughlin did point out that neither Robert nor Elizabeth Hatcher have been notified of the finding. McLaughlin said that "We don't think they will be held on charges for the second-degree murder of possibly billions of innocent lives."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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