Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for MIT Professor Releases New Theory on the Angle of the Dangle
Tha Angle of the Dangle is in Reverse Proximity to the Hole

Spatial Mathematics professor, Dr. Haywood Jablome, released his new theory on the Angle of the Dangle, and the dangle's proximity to the line of entry needed for intersection with a black hole, or any other color hole for that matter.

After years of study, the professor's findings were a bit of a disappointment to the press corps that had gathered for the announcement. Facing an auditorium full of mostly empty chairs, Dr. Jablome declared, "It depends. There is no single angle that works for every equation".

Proving his updated theory, Jablome produced several mathematical drawings that showed the dangle's angle at varying degrees of elevation, some in perfect alignment with a black hole, while others needed adjustment for perfect alignment. "It's puzzling", said Jablome, "One would think that dangles and black holes would naturally pull themselves into alignment, simply from forces of nature".

Hearing news of the press release, competing mathematics professor at Harvard, Dr. Gemma Haanjobb, replied, "He forgot to mention how the size of the dangle impacts the probability of alignment. If you can't find it to line it up, there will be no intersection". Jabolme, apparently a former boyfriend to Dr. Haanjobb called another press conference to declare, "It is NOT that small."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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