Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Breasts, Bra, Massage

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for New Full Figured Bra Lifts Separates and Invigorates
Much, much, much bigger that this bra.

Full figured women share a common complaint when it comes to the support of larger than average breasts, but a new patented bra design will provide much needed back support and pain relief along with enhanced cup support for women from DD to H in size.

Using newer Perma-Soft fabrics interwoven with Kevlar and Carbon Fibers for added strength, full figured gals can now enjoy the same engineering benefits found in modern day jet fighters. Former NASA engineer turned bra designer, Dr. Brad Brunski, tells reporters, "With light weight Carbon Fiber underwire, and Kevlar for the base layer, we soften the cups with Perma-Soft cotton for the ultimate in support and comfort. Oh, and the Kevlar makes those bullets bulletproof as well."

When asked about the sheer effects of gravity on women during the course of the day, Brunski replied, "That's why we've build in a massage mechanism into our wide 8 hook back strap. You activate a micro switch under the arm and enjoy a soothing back massage." Curious audience members at the press conference asked about battery storage for the massager. Brunski replied, "Yes, good question. We've stacked lithium ion button batteries in both nipple areas of the bra. The side effect of our back massager model is that the wearer will always appear to be perky".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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