Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Hollywood, England

Wednesday, 9 February 2005

image for Bugs Bunny - "Hey Doc, Maybe You Oughta' be Eatin' Some Carrots Too!"

HOLLYWOOD (AP) The world's foremost authority on carrots is hardly surprised by the news out of Europe this morning. A report from researchers at the University of Newcastle upon Tyne in England and the University of Southern from Denmark reveals that carrots not only are fun to eat, but also prevents cancer. It seems that the natural substance found in ordinary carrots that protects the root vegetables from fungus helps protect the body from cancer.

"Hey, What's up Doc?" asks our old friend Bugs Bunny from the cartoons. "I've been eating carrots all my life and I've never been sick a day. I spend most of my time dodging shotgun blasts from that Elmer Fudd. I'm a little worried about Elmer; he seems to think he'd be better off eating wabbits instead of just eating a bunch of carrots. That makes no sense to me Doc. But I tell ya', I ain't gonna tell Elmer about eating carrots, 'cause I really don't want his eyesight to improve a whole lot!"

"Now take that cat Sylvester," said Bugs Bunny. "He's been chasing that stupid Tweety Bird around for years, never ate a carrot in his life, and recently died of a big hairball. Same with Porky Pig - no carrots for him either and that Trichinosis got him last spring. Now I hear that Wyle E. Coyote has been having inner ear problems and is losing his balance a lot. He should'a been eatin' carrots!"

"I went to my friend Daffy Duck's birthday party this past month and brought him a nice carrot cake. He liked it so much, he asked me to give him the recipe. Here's my recipe."

2 cups sugar
4 whole eggs
3 cups grated carrots
2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup canola oil
2 cups cake flour
1 tsp. apple bake Seasoning
8 tbsp. margarine
3 cup sugar, confectioner's
8 ounces cream cheese
1 teaspoon lemon extract

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Beat granulated sugar, vanilla, eggs, and oil in large mixing bowl until smooth. Add grated carrots, flour, baking soda, spices, and salt to sugar mixture. Beat at medium speed for 2 minutes. Pour into greased & floured 9 x 13 pan. Bake for 45-50 minutes until done. Test with toothpick in center. Remove cake from pan and cool on rack until completely cool. Spread frosting over cake and refrigerate until ready to serve.


"Take it from your old pal Bugs Bunny, carrots are really good for you!"


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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