Written by C. Cranium
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Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Two thousand Year Old Vending Machine Discovered
New discoveries made in Egypt.

Fayoum Oasis south of Cairo - The extensive dig at Fayoum has rewarded the scientific community with an enormous amount of artifacts and new information about ancient Egypt. The dig site is dated in the 3rd century B.C., during the reign of King Ptolemy III who was the great great uncle and favorite ancestor of Cleopatra.

Archaeologists digging through numerous cat mummies discovered a stash of ancient bronze coins that were inscribed in Greek and archaic Egyptian Amun-Zues pidgin with a picture of a kangaroo. Alexander the Great exercised control over Egypt during that era explains the Greek writing, but where the kangaroo likeness came from is a mystery. It can only be summarized that Australian exchange students drew the animal for the Egyptians.

Underneath the bronze coins was a strange contraption with wood gears inside and stone likenesses on the front of flat bread, crockery, a rabbit, and a slot that would fit the bronze money. The contraption no longer works, as the wood is too frail, but the mechanics appear to accept the coins and dispense with whatever picture is selected. The machine is the ancient equivalent of a modern vending machine without the bill processor.

The dig is still underway with discoveries of necklaces made of turquoise, not native to Africa, makeup made of herbs, and fabric made from hemp. Unannounced is that another contraption has been discovered and that it may be some sort of game rather than a vending machine. The Egyptian archaeologists are remaining secretive about the latest finds but it may be that they have discovered the worlds first arcade.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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