Written by C. Cranium
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Topics: Global Warming

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for 98.6 is Now 98.7 Thanks to Global Warming
Mayo Clinic volunteer entrance for temperature testees.

Global warming is the cause of lots of scientific proven anomalies that are changing the environment. Glaciers are disappearing, the ozone has a hole in it, Jay Leno is back on the tonight show, Glacier Park is being renamed Just Mountain Park, and Spring is 10 days earlier this year. Many of these changes are due to the human effect on the Earth. And now humans are physically affected.

Disclosed by the Mayo Research Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota is that the average temperature for Homo sapiens is now 98.7 degrees. No longer 98.6 that has been the average temperature since Ferdinand Temperature invented it. Mayo administered over ten thousand clinical tests, on dozens of volunteers, throughout the globe and the startling result is that everyone was hotter than expected. Some were really hot like Jessica Beil who volunteered while on location in Morocco filming the remake of Casablanca with Matt Damon.

Mayo is now widening its' research and has set up a clinic in Poipu, Kauai, Hawaii to test the vacationing snorklers and beach loungers. Speaking for Mayo Dr. Helen Kleinschmidt stated, " We are here in Hawaii to test the temperature of the population that is on vacation while we're on hospital funded vacation."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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