Written by Bill Licks
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Topics: Stupid, IQ, Brain dead

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Scientists prove having a low I.Q. means you won't be able to read this
Lady Di is thought to have had an IQ of 200 - Her sons are able ot count to 200.

A team of researchers from the University of Chipping Sodbury have today published their findings about how having a low I.Q. means you won't be able to read this article.

The boffins admit that if you do have a low I.Q. then you might just about get though the first 3 words of the above paragraph but would lose interest once you reached the word 'researchers' as it's unlikely you'll be able to understand what it means.

The subjects used for their experiment ranged from a 50 year old Scottish woman called Susan who has lived her life with just half a brain, minor members of the Royal family, John Terry and a house brick.

Each were told to sit at a desk and were then told to use the mouse attached to the computer in front of them to click on the link to take them to the Spoof web page titled 'Scientists prove having a low I.Q. means you won't be able to read this.'

The woman with half a brain immediately failed as she was unable to work out how to sit on the chair. Meanwhile one of Fergie's kids was so busy trying to remember how to breathe that she completely forgot why she was there and decided that she was her sister who was over thirty miles away.

Footballer John Terry showed some promise as he sat down, operated the mouse then clicked on the link but then proceeded to stick his elbow into the computer screen, remonstrate with one of the scientists and was eventually sent out of the room 30 minutes before the experiment ended.

The house brick was offered help to click on the link as it had no hands but it appeared to study the article intently as it remained inanimate throughout the course of the experiment. However, it failed to answer any of the multiple choice questions it was given afterwards testing its skills of memory when questioned about what it had just read.

So is there any hope for those with a low I.Q. to be able to ever enjoy a Spoof like this?

'No' say the scientists. If you were born with the brain power of an earthworm then no amount of education or brain training will ever improve your abilities. You're destined to spend your days, dragging your knuckles along the ground or in a worst case scenario, spending your days auditioning for Britain's Got Talent and being humiliated by Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and a plastic spoon wearing a wig.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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