Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Space, Aliens

Thursday, 15 April 2010

image for Extraterrestrial Signal Received From Galaxy M82
A Message For The Human Race From Outer Space

Washington DC - Astronomers are reporting to President Obama this morning about a remarkable discovery in Outer Space. A radio signal from a galaxy called M82 has been received on Earth. The signal comes from a galaxy 12 million light years away and it appears to have been beamed directly to Earth. The message is only three words and a translation is expected by this afternoon.

Astronomer Karl Saygun broke the news this morning to the world media. The extraterrestrial signal instantly became the talk of the Internet.

Everyone wanted to know what the three words could be. Some hoped for a spiritual message such as 'Love, peace, hope.' Others feared the three words would be something ominous such as 'We eat people.'

By good fortune, world leaders were already meeting in Washington DC for a nuclear conference. Karl Saygun phoned President Obama and told him the signal was already translated and he had the answer.

A meeting for the world leaders was quickly arranged in the White House Rose Garden. The leaders took their seats looking grim and worried. Television cameras from around the world focused on Karl Saygun as he started to address the crowd. A tense silence fell upon the leaders as he began to speak.

"We have a message from some aliens in the M82 Galaxy." he began. His wide, poker face betrayed no emotion as he continued. The tension in the audience, and around the world was almost unbearable.

"We have three words from these aliens. That's all. Whatever it means may take centuries to completely understand--or maybe not." he said enigmatically.

Six billon people watched their TV sets and the world came to a standstill as Karl Saygun finally pronounced the three words...

"The three words are...Kiss My Ass...!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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