Written by cadders
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Old People, Research

Saturday, 13 March 2010

image for You are as Old as You Feel Claim Scientists
A Research Subject Last Night

In an astounding new report a group of scientists from the University of Stoned California have announced that you genuinely are as young as you feel.

Following on from other research not even remotely related to greenhouse gasses or melting icecaps it can now be revealed that after an in-depth study your physical and mental age does indeed reflect how you feel - and also who.

After interviewing a conclusive sample of almost a whole bar-full of people scientists have come up with the following surprising statistics

Men in their 40's tend to cop a feel with females between the ages of 18 and 25

Middle aged women usually feel up men in their similar age group but have expressed a preference for young hunky men around 22

Young Hunky men around 22 tend to cop a feel with other Young Hunky Men around 22

Average males between 25 and 40 feel whatever they can find so long as it has a pulse

Young people between the ages of 14 and 18 tend to stay indoors and feel themselves

There are some unusual gaps in this research though. The team dispatched to observe what young lesbian couples prefer to feel has yet to return and deliver its findings

Their only contact was a garbled message involving "Send more tissues....."

Scientists of course don't get out much.......

Make cadders's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

4 12 3 10
81 readers are online right now!

Go to top