In an emergency session, after yet one more atrocity committed by killer whales, the Society for Human Association with Mammals from Under the Sea.(SHAMUS) announced: "Lurking anywhere from the open ocean to indoor lap and kiddie pools, the whale family "Orca" can rise instantly to grasp one's middle and give them a shaking."
The group is meeting overnight to try to come up with ideas for making the Killer Whales easier to identify, such as educational posters noting their hard to detect coloring and ability to easily conceal their presence until they strike.
"Maybe if they were larger or more boldly colored people wouldn't be so easily duped,"
Maryann Queeqag, president of the association stated to the gathering in Mystic, Connecticut. Queeqag has a long history on the subject, studying adaptive camouflage of ocean creatures and working as a consultant on the documentary film, "Free Willy".
Thus far, the group has agreed to fund a beach side billboard campaign reading:
IF YOU SEE A LARGE BLACK AND WHITE ANIMAL WEIGHING MORE THAN 10 TONS, PLEASE STAY AT LEAST SIX FEET AWAY! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HAND FEED OR RIDE ON THEM!