Kabul - As Operation Moshtarak continues so the usefulness of iPhones has already been revealed. Soldiers fighting against deadly insurgents can not only relax with a game of guitar hero, check facebook and organise a dinner party in Lewisham at a local and reasonably priced curry house, but they have also added applications that guide deadly missiles into the path fleeing gunmen.
These extraordinary achievements have prompted Apple boss Steve Jobs to hand over a large crate load of the new Apple iPads for testing in a military situation. But things have gone pear shaped for the Apple.
"It's not that they aren't useful..." said one critic when I talked to him under the cover of darkness, our faces lit up by the explosions and fires either side, "It's just that it feels big and clumsy, not doing the job of a laptop completely or a job of an iPhone either. Also, the Taliban figured out how to turn on their Bluetooth the other day, and we can't figure out how to turn ours off..."
One regiment, however, has found a use for the equipment.
"Weelll," said Corporal Lance Allot, "These here metal sheet iPad things are swell for armour, why, three of my men have been saved from death when bullets sunk into the smooth, engraved surface of these things."
Testing on the iPad continues.
the occasional writer