Written by SPECTRUM
Print this
Topics: life

Thursday, 4 February 2010

image for Live Longer but Life's a Bitch then you die
I have my life savings in this bag and I am on my way to the bookies

Research has shown that the chance of you living to 100 or more is 10000-1. Even in families where there is a history of living longer you still have to avoid accidents and disease
which is harder to fight off the older you get.

Scientist Ian Young from Edinburgh has been working on what makes people age and is confident that we will be able to make changes to the genes which make people live longer.

When we spoke to Ian he said "Its not just a matter of the genes what you eat is a major factor,If you look at a fly for example it lives only 24 hours and eats nothing but shit for breakfast,dinner or tea. So be careful what you eat don't eat shit"

So remember avoid accidents and disease don't eat shit and put all your money on a bet for you to live to 100 with Ladbrokes at 10000-1. You will be rich but you will be to old to do anything life's a bitch.

Make SPECTRUM's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 4?

7 15 11 8
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more