Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Space, Iran

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for Iran's Space Program Expands to Include Mujahedin
Oops, Wrong photo. This would be a NASA rocket.

Following self-proclaimed successful rocket testing to the outer atmosphere, which included small reptiles that reportedly survived the flight, Iran will expand their space program to include Mujahedin warriors on test flights to the moon.

On their quest to become "The first men to walk on the moon", says Iranian president Ahmadinejad, "our Iranian Aerospace Organization (IAO) will recruit 100 brave souls to assist in rocket testing and our first space flights". Plans were announced for the expanded space program while the Iranian president was in France, a country also known a world power in Aerospace engineering and manned space flight.

IAO's Chief Engineer Ahmed Ikayshun says, "We need to work out a few kinks with oxygen and temperature controls yet. Our turtles came back alive, frozen, but alive, but we think our brave test pilots will help us fix those problems during testing".

Early rocket tests with Mujahedin pilots have been disastrous, creating a top-heavy condition in the rocket capsule that forces the rocket to flip over mid-flight and drive itself into the ground. "They are all martyrs in the eyes of God", says Ikayshun. "It is the price you pay to be first with any new technology".

Iranian officials are not quick to admit to their own countrymen, that the rockets used in the IAO space program are based on 1950's US and Russian technology. Outsiders including U.S. officials were quick to applaud the Iranian program and the expansion to manned space travel, offering all their rusty surplus rocket parts as a gift. "We think they should send up as many martyrs, I mean astronauts as they can find", said one NASA official.

Recent improvements to the rocket capsule will include an FM radio, a first aid kit, and an extra blanket for the pilot once reaching the sub-zero temperatures of space.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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