Seattle - (Tablitz): CEO Steve 'Big' Jobs was cock-a-hooptoday as the Apple Core unveiled its latest gizmo the iPantyPad.
Billed as the intelligent answer to the old fashioned colostomy bag the thin, sleek device senses moisture ahead of an emission and counteracts seepage via microwave technology.
Additional functionality includes a tiny portable personal computer with a multi-touch screen and user-friendly software, according to the PR blurb.
"Hey, this will will transform the way we consume and void," 'Big' Jobs commented.
A built-in transponder doubles up as a vibrating surface that changes the liquid-absorbing functionality into a remarkable multi-tasking urino-genitary piece of gadgetery.]
Next month the company hopes to launch the iTampon which plays soothing music while mopping up the monthly mess.