Inside sources at Apple Discovery have confirmed the existence of the next big thing. Its the Apple tablet, and it could improve your life 100%.
Its a small round pill that contains all the health benefits of 100 apples without actually having to go through any of the inconvenience of eating any apples at all. They've called it the iSlate because it sounds abstract. Just a nice random word picked out of thin air, because they thought that naming their apple table "The Apple Tablet" was a bit too obvious.
A mole at the company has said today, that this pill is the super pill that the world has been waiting for. If old traditional tales passed down through families for generation are true, then this pill will cure you of every illness that the world has ever seen. It truly will keep the doctor away.
Unfortunately, concerns are growing that if this is so, 100 million people could be unemployed by the end of the year. This will include doctors, nurses and every other health professional in the world.
It could mean the end of traditional medicine as we know it, if the price is right. But market researchers have said that there is no need for anyone to panic just yet.
They have deduced from their research that Apple Discovery plan to sell their drug for £500 a pill, so maybe the health profession will not be doomed afterall all. Poor people will still need its help. Hurrah. 100 million jobs saved by a greedy drugs company. Now that's something you don't hear every day.
By Katarina Frogpond