Local deep-thinker Norbert Wibble was at it again today as he pondered one of the mysteries of the world: why isn't the word 'Tea' spelled 'T'.
Mr. Wibble, 53, Cockchafe Street, Orkney Islands, was enjoying a nice cup of warm brew when the thought flashed before his mind like that female streaker at last weekend's darts contest in the local pub.
"It seems curious...", he intoned in the dulcet tones he is noted for throughout the community when belching the national anthem of North Korea at harvest festival time, "why it is that letters should be squandered when the World is crying out for letters".
"The little brown babies in Africa, who communicate - I am told - with click-click tongue sounds - would be far more deserving of the letters 'E' and 'A'".
He then wrote a letter to The Daily Mail. Which was published. Twice.
Mr. Wibble is now campaigning for other 'superfluous' letters to be removed and given to the brown babies in Africa for research purposes.
'Lamb' will kindly donate it's 'B'.
'Pterodactyl' will give away it's 'P'.
And 'Why' will give away all it's letters and be replaced with a 'Y' instead.