Ever since the beginning of the time, AskJeeves has been favorite search engine of people who never find what they are looking for. Today things have changed. AskJeeves has updated their free service to include even saving of the irrelevant results.
Most Alzheimer's patients, who were available to comment and didn't forget the question immediately after we asked it, have praised AskJeeves' determination to help people who can't remember what they searched for. Jeeves, being the gentleman he is, will soon include another free service. The service will help senior citizens cross the information superhighway. Boy scout groups were not available for immediate comment.
Garrett Gruener, one of the founders of AskJeeves has had an unsuccessful run for governor when governorship of California was up for grabs last year. AskJeeves has promised to help Gruener's campaign by bidding all the money their free services acquire to his reelection. When current governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to comment, he has urged everyone to stay focused on current presidential election and reelecting Bush for president. "I don't sleep with corps like Teresa Heinz Kerry and other girlie men," added Schwarzenneger. Kerry campaign was not available to comment because they all are being held without charges for treason by the Bush administration. When asked about the arrests, president Bush issued the following statement: "America and the world are safer today." A sneaky Spoof reporter asked why America wasn't able to count on President Bush during the Vietnam days. After successfully dodging the question for two times Bush replied, "I remember those days very well because I was high as a kite", probably referring to his service in the National Guard as a pilot? John McCain has asked President Bush to release Kerry as his imprisonment can jeopardize democracy in United States while he was giving out "Vote for Bush" buttons to a crowd gathered to protest Kerry's imprisonment in front of the Capitol.
After a lost battle to stay on subject, The Spoof staff has decided not to cover election news anymore because the news is usually too sad to make fun of.