Written by Helen Tarnation
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Topics: New Year, Maya, prophecy

Thursday, 31 December 2009

image for 'Blue Moon' on New Year's Eve confirms Mayan apocalypse of planetary doom
Russians our only hope to save civilization from Mayan prophecy

On the last day of 2009, an auspicious day by any reckoning, a 'blue moon' will appear in the skies surrounding the entire planet of Earth.

'Numerologists have been warning about this planetary convergence for centuries', said Judith Cousins, a psychic, visionary, and astrologer.

When a month has two full moons, the second one is called a 'blue moon'. The blue moon cycle is 2.72 years, making it a rare event. The last blue moon month was May 2007, and the next will occur in August 2012.

Since calendar months of 30 and 31 days are longer than the actual period between one full moon and the next, which is 29.53 days, the surplus hours and days of each month, each year, accumulate until eventually there is an "extra" full moon in one month.

Even so, there is something far more sinister at work: the Mayan Calendar.

The Mayan calender is based upon a system dating back to at least the 6th century BC. It shares many aspects with calendars employed by other earlier Mesoamerican civilizations, such as the Zapotec and Olmec, and contemporary or later ones such as the Mixtec and Aztec calendars.

The calendar has accurately foreseen the doom of Earth, in 2036 -- coincidentally, when the asteroid Apophis is scheduled to strike the planet and destroy all living things unless the Russians succeed in their project.

'This is a crisis of astrological proportions', said Hester Chester, psychic and astrologer, who recently discovered a new sign of the Zodiac. 'We should worry a lot, or party a lot, or maybe both.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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