Written by Jordan Baugher
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Topics: Future, Time Travel

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Visitor from Future Kills Local Man, Arrested

D'Starkville, IN - Cops arrested Rezn0r 13-Z B1ggs today for the murder of local man Ed Hodges. B1ggs reportedly hails from the year 2434 and travelled back to the present in an attempt to prevent the future birth of Hodges' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson Vacim3r 14-R III, the Grand Ossimer of All Nine Planets and Eater of Cute Little Babies.

Upon his arrest, B1ggs vaporized Sheriff Deputy Lyon Phillips with a 'meltzapper' and drove away in Phillips' squad car. Witnesses reportedly heard B1ggs yell, "Arrest me? I just saved the future, bitches! I'm off to Vegas to party with some hookers!"

Neither B1ggs nor the squad car has been found.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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