Tired of the cellphones going off at the theater, during church, during funerals, in the next stall while you're tying to see if you can make a fart ring really loud in there?
You need Cellgone, the remarkable device invented by South Korean scientist, Kim Kim.
One shot of Kim's Cellgone in the direction of the offending cellphone instantly changes all conversation through that phone at the present time, to Klingon. Not only is it a relief, it's hilarious. Plus, everyone who calls will be heard only in Klingon for the next fifteen minutes.
The Cellgone device looks a lot like the buzzers at the restaurant that let you know that your table is ready. As soon as you hear it buzz, you know the Klingon has kicked in and you can watch the puzzled look on the person's face.
"What? Are you eating? What a ghobe? Hi what? Hija? Listen, either this phone is running out of juice or yours is .."Luq?" "I'm going now."
You can also use the device to aim at people in traffic so they won't run over you.
That's, the Cellgone! Order your device today*
*Not recommended around Star Trek Conventions.