Middle-class charity Greenlies was a tad irritated today when a polar bear claimed he could swim 70 miles across the Arctic Ocean quite easily, and before breakfast.
'We sit here on our melting ice floes', he said from a melting ice floe near Amoronikland, that was discovered in 1923 by an Italian unemployed PR man hundreds of years after the Vikings had been trading with that area, 'and then go for swims. But first we laugh at those human idiots that use my photo to suggest polar bears can't swim, and are so terribly terribly scared of the ocean hopefully warming up. Why are humans so dumb?'
Polar bears are the most violent and dangerous of all bears, and only a great white shark could be a more ironic image to use for a supposedly 'green' charity, when human instinct wants all great white sharks and polar bears and wolves and cockroaches destroyed.
'If Greenlies did me any good', the polar bear said, 'I'd be interested, but my species has survived for millions of years without any human help. Something tells me that lots of bullshitting humans making a living out of 'global warming' need to get a grip on reality. The idea that a few car fumes can alter nature is laughable! And thousands of elderly people still die every year in the United Kingdom due to a lack of heating. But sending your money to Greenlies will help, of course.'
The pen is more ignorant than the sword, so claimed Wossisname once, and it looks like ignorance is bliss for Greenlies, whose 'scientists' claimed in the 1970s that a third Ice Age was approaching, the same jokers that now claim the planet is dieing due to warming.
P.T.Barnum would be proud of Greenlies. We aren't. Bring back the Muslim Dating oxymoron sponsors, free wife beating and female circumcision with every third applicant.