Written by J.B.Arthur

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Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Since Climategate, where the CRU emails have destroyed the reputations of thousands of scientists across the world, they are now taking to desperate measures to prove that CO2 emissions really, really do destroy the planet.

To discover why the CO2 behaved so strangely during the Palaeozoic Period, the climateologists, in collusion the physicists in Cerne with their Hadron Collider, have created a time-machine and actually travelled back to the Palaeozoic Period to find out exactly why the CO2 was acting so strangely in that time.

This is what they came back with: "Those pesky reptiles were driving around, using FAR too much electricity, and apparently it was Aspartame that finally "extinctualized"(G.W.Bush dictionary) them.

"And now the blummin lizzeds are still screwing up the planet ! Fossil fuels are made of dead plants and ... what, LIZZEDS?

"Yes, crude oil and, therefore it's derivatives such as plastic or Michael Jackson's face, is made of between twelvety and infinityhundred percent dinosaur."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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