After a furious and noisy meeting in Copenhagen we can reveal tonight that Gordon Brown has agreed to end global warming by sitting down.
It has been reported tonight that in rather heated exchanges between Gordon Brown and the rest of known humanity it has finally been agreed that Solar Radiation ACTUALLY IS a contributing factor to global warming and that by constantly having the sun shine out of his a**e Gordon Brown is actually a major contributor to global warming
"We hate your beef!" said a French spokesperson earlier tonight which is totally unrelated and as usual for the French makes absolutely no sense at all
In a public statement earlier Gordon Brown declared "I cannot help that the sun shines out of my a**e and that this is frequently reported on my private TV channel - the BBC."
Gordon Brown went on to clarify that from now on he would keep his bum cheeks together wherever possible and would also refrain from contributing to CO2 emissions by not opening his mouth
Unfortunately for the UK he has not promised to stop running the country and other wastes of oxygen such as David Cameron have offered to take on simple subjects such as sunrise and dawn in his absence