Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Books, Nooks, Kindles

Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for Two Kindles Have Screaming Match in Times Square
"Put up your dukes," one Kindle screamed to another.

A spat between an Amazon Kindle and a Barnes & Noble Nook might not have been a great surprise, but yesterday in New York's Times Square it was a smackdown between two Kindles that made the news. That's right. The same brand of electronic reader, and they can't even get along!

Here's the back story. Two Kindle owners had brought their Kindle "babies" (named Katie and Kris) with them for a play date when they met for what they thought would be a nice relaxing walk in Times Square. They stopped at a coffee shop for a snack, letting the baby Kindles play at their feet. At first all was calm as the Kindle Kids entertained each other, chattering away, using their text-to-speech (you know, the talk-to-me) function. But soon their 'voices' got louder and louder, as they argued over who was wearing the prettier Kindle cover. Katie thought hers, a bright red, was perfect, especially for the holiday season. Kris, wearing a light blue cover, called Katie's cover gaudy and insisted that her own cover was better.

That did it for Katie. She moved a little closer to the other Kindle. Then she gave Kris a good swat. "Take that," she said. "You and your baby blue cover. Perfect for a little baby, just like you."

Kris fought back, with an even harder swat. Soon it was a full-fledged brawl -- pow! pow! pow! -- with a crowd gathering around the fighting Kindles, and fellow diners shouting taunts and taking sides. When police sirens were heard in the distance, the two disgusted moms chided their Kindle babies, picked them up from the floor, and quickly ran for the door. One shook her head from side to side, murmuring to her friend, "Kids, what can you do?" Her friend answered, "So much for a nice relaxing afternoon."

An older male diner, sitting at a table across from the dueling Kindles, had the last word. "Women love to yak," he said. He shrugged and added, "Makes no difference whether they are humans or machines, kids or adults. If they are female, you just can't shut 'em up." His parting shot? A loud sigh and an even louder "Oy!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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