Switzerland - Scientists from sixteen nations converged on the site of the beleaguered Giant Hardon Collider last week to assess what remedial work is required to get the super sized apparatus up and running.
Max Schilling of the University of Frankfurt says it is really hard to say what the problem is with The Giant Hardon.
"Ever since it was built we can only get The Giant Hardon up and running for twenty minutes or so then something blows and it goes into sleep mode."
Location makes maintenance on the Hardon awkward and time consuming as well. "We think that it may have been a mistake to put The Giant Hardon underground. Original plans called for The Giant Hardon to be built on the surface sticking up in the air like the Leaning Tower of Pisa so technicians could work on it more easily."
"Workers have been hard to recruit to work on The Giant Hardon as well. Not many men applied for the job so now we recruit women technicians only."
"The women have to go down to work on The Giant Hardon and even some of them are reluctant to go down unless we give them a couple glasses of wine or a new watch."
Despite being plagued with problems The Giant Hardon is a source of envy for many countries around the world.
The United States is already in the planning stages to get a Giant Hardon.