Space Central Command-- Excited astronomers confirmed today there are at least two, and possibly five, alien spacecraft hovering above our planet. The president was notified immediately, as well as the military. The spacecraft are considered hostile, and the military is making plans to shoot them down.
The confirmation of alien activity comes after decades of denial. Although many people have seen objects in the sky, the subject was never taken seriously by the government until now. Now, everything is out in the open.
The government even plans to investigate crazy rumours of alien rovers. There are wild reports of twin machines from Outer Space wandering around the countryside and drilling holes into rocks. Unbelievable stores like this have filled the pages of the tabloids for years. Now, even these incredible stories may turn out to be true.
The military is taking this information very seriously. Our president has authorized a plan to attack and destroy these invaders of our beautiful red planet.
The aliens are from our evil sister planet, Earth. A filthy race of ape-like creatures has been shooting objects at Mars for years, and they must be punished. Neutrino bombs will be launched next month to punish the evil aliens.