PORTLAND OR - According to my source, Mr. Watson, IBM (ittybitty machine corporation) has produced a computer program that is smarter than a cat. When they tested it using an IQ test, the cat failed completely, unable to even hold the pencil.
The IBM computer, however, printed the correct answers to half the questions neatly on a laser printer. The stupid cat then bit the cord of the laser printer and was electrocuted.
At this point, the computer started to consume a lot of extra energy, and the IBM scientists were concerned. Then an announcement came out on the laser printer.
Scientists speculate that the computer enjoyed killing the cat. Some compared this to a wolf being shot from a helicopter, but the computer dispatched these scientists, printing out termination forms for them all, all the ones that thought that was funny.
The remaining scientists are now doing what ever the cat-computer directs.