Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for Puppies constellation vampire star named after Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin
Puppies constellation pinup Mrs Putain

NASA HQ, Groom Lake - (Wallachia): Announcing the honor Search for Extraterrestiral Intelligence (SETI) chief Carl Sagan said today the V445 supoernova 'had been sucking in gas from a neighbouring star'.

"Accordingly, we name the V445 vampire The Vladimir Putin," Sagan explained, "and its host Gazprom!"

The news was welcomed by UK astronomers at Jodrrel Bank who commented that the Puppies (sic) constellation resembles a pair of giant cosmic tits crossing the Milky Way.

Kremlin officials meanwhile were keeping mum.

A spokesperson for the Orifice of the Russian Prime Monster declined to comment on reports that Putain, 69, had raked in some $20 billion in Gazprom assets during his eight year presidency of the Russian Federation:

"It was always a symbiotic relationship, there was no vampirism whatsoever."

Prof Stephen Hawking's zodiac ascendant in the cosmic sign of The Rattlesnake.

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