LONDON, England - My source, Dr. Scoober Methaone, a noted expert in the new field of aspartame abuse, has analyzed the mad writings of TheSpoof.com and found the rantings, whinings, and bafoonary to be due in large measure to the over use of aspartame.
It is a well known fact that there exists a maximum recommended amount of aspartame, beyond which humans should not imbibe. It seems TheSpoof.com writers, having read herein stories about aspartame, have taken it upon themselves prove aspartame safe - themselves.
According to Scoober, and his brother, Booger, it is not rare for reporters to knock back a gallon or two of diet orange soda with up to twice the normal levels of aspartame, for each meal.. just to show that it has no effect.
Recent feedback from readers has indicated a gross decline in the intellectual level of the reporting. According to Scoober, this is clearly due to the aspartame pickling the brains of the correspondents for TheSpoof.com.
However, strangely, this has led to a vast increase in the number of people reading these articles. This may also be due to aspartame use, among the readers who are probably quite high by now on the substance abuse.