Nanotechnology Comes Up With New Levers to Control the British Economy.
With the 'incredibly shrinking British economy' comes a life-line: nano-levers.
Very small levers for controlling a very small economy.
"We need levers that operate at the molecular level," said one economy expert, "the British economy has become a 'shrinking-violet' - pretty soon we won't have to worry about cutting back on CO2 emissions."
Putting spin on the latest dismal GDP figures, Alistair Darling (British Chancellor of the Exchequer, a pompous name for a pompous government department): "This is surely good news, the latest drop in GDP figures will spurn more growth in Cap 'n Trade, we can sell our CO2 emission permits to China - it's a great opportunity for both nations."
Anticipating a drop off in tax revenues the British government hinted at a more Lib-Dem approach to the economy.
"We need some kind of business growth so we are encouraging our water treatment works (sewage farms) to use latest nanotechnology to extract precious metals like gold (Au) and platinum (Pt) from our waste water."
"The latest Iranian inward investment figures show clearly that Iran is buying up water waste processing plants and egg battery farms dotted around nuclear facilities at former Windscale (now renamed Sellafield) in Cumbria."
"We did not know that gold and other precious elements could be extracted from waste water from Sellafield," mused one British official.