Written by Alexandria177
Print this

Saturday, 17 October 2009

image for Abortionists discover "Flickering Babies"
Is the stork carrying a baby or a non-viable mass? Both! Neither! Depends!

Stovington, Vermont - Abortionists in America have discovered that babies are magical creatures that flicker into and out of existence, depending on legislator's laws or women's whims.

This shocking, but true report comes from the examination of millions of babies/fetal masses. The findings of the baby/fetal mass being able to flicker into and out of existence are as follows:

A woman gets pregnant, and a baby now exists inside her.

She decides she doesn't want it, so it flickers out of existence and is now "non-viable tissue mass".

She decides she wants child support from the father, and the baby flickers back into existence.

She decides that she doesn't need the money that badly, especially as he now wants input and visitation, so "abracadabra" the baby flickers out of existence and becomes a "non-viable tissue mass" again.

She is caught taking drugs and the State magically turns it back into a baby to charge her with child endangerment.

She gets a good attorney and is found "Not guilty" and the baby flickers out of existence again.

On the way to the abortion clinic to get rid of this "non-viable tissue mass", a rich man driving drunk hits her and causes her to miscarry - "alakazaam" and after our government convicts him of manslaughter of the magically reappeared baby, she may sue him for the big bucks.

Yes, it has been discovered that it's an odd world we live in with such flickering babies popping into and out of existence, all the while being within the space of a woman's womb! What a wondrous fairyland a woman's womb must be to have such strange and supernatural events occuring within!

And how odd that if an abortionist drives drunk, and kills the baby of the woman heading to the abortion clinic, he may be convicted of killing that which he would have been paid to eliminate in another ten minutes!

Abortionist researchers have been unable to determine exactly what the baby/non-viable mass is, and have come to the conclusion that these flickering babies must indeed be magic.

Make Alexandria177's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

7 10 5 15
69 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more