That's what the people of Earth are screaming today as fifteen huge round hot things are heading straight for us from the depths of space!
The population of Earth piss in their pants at the prospect of being squished into the galactic equivalent of strawberry jam.
"This is heavy shit but we have an explanation," A NASA man said, "Last month we launched the specially equipped Atlantis Space Shuttle in an attempt to prevent the sun spots. They are responsible for deadly Gamma radiation and they make our Sun less attractive to other big round hot things.
"We've discovered that she's not attracting a member of the opposite sex because she has got ugly sun spots."
The Atlantis (also the name of a famous Switzerland burger) was equipped with a Million Gazillion litres of special scientifically formulated, highly moisturising cream containing 'GlobulusFlobdyDubolox Z.N.X', specifically for celestial bodies that have a high pH and prone to grotesque spots.
So as fifteen hopefuls queue up for a piece of the action we can all cheer because the Human race has been saved again by science! And as for little miss Sol; potential spinster of the western spiral arm, she's apparently no longer the spotty little slag gagging to shag anything.